¡Hasta Luego!

I am beginning to wonder if the only true consistency in our lives right now is change.  :)

Thanks to Facebook, many of you are already aware that I had made some changes to my treatment regimen.  After my 5th round of chemo, which included a short hospital stay to address uncontrolled vomiting, we decided to do a CT scan to see how my cancer was responding.  Even with the reduction in my chemo dose, I continued to have severe and long lasting side effects, so we needed to at least be sure what we were doing was effective. 

It wasn't.

My lymph nodes had grown a fairly significant amount, and were essentially back to the size they were when I was diagnosed.  Going back to the higher chemo dose wasn't an option, as my side effects had been too severe to tolerate it.  We decided to put in a port and switch to a similar regimen delivered intravenously, with the hopes that I would tolerate it better, and it would be effective at shrinking the cancer and alleviating some of my pain.  I had one round, and was so sick afterward that I was unable to take care of even my basic needs.  For some reason, chemotherapy seems to hit me harder than many other patients (although it's no walk in the park for anyone!).

After some research and serious soul searching, I decided I would not continue with chemotherapy.  Studies of this regimen in patients with neuroendocrine cancer showed that the chemo was able to bring about a certain specified reduction in the size of tumors in about 30% of patients. My oncologist said that our goal would be to do four cycles, scan my tumors, and hope for no new growth.  If at that point there was no new growth, we could continue for four more cycles, after which we would hope to see a reduction in tumor size.  But chemotherapy for this type of cancer is not curative, and it only works as long as you continue to do it.

When I really thought about it, it didn't make any sense to continue.  I would have chemo infusions every two weeks.  The toxicity would continue to mount, and I would feel worse and worse over time.  I spent the vast majority of the two weeks after the first infusion in bed, unable to do much of anything.  So I would have a terrible quality of life, and would have to continue the treatment as long as I wanted to keep tumor growth down.  Of course that's only if it worked, and chances were more likely that it would not.

There are a few other conventional options available, but none of them are a great fit for me, and none of them offer a chance of remission.  So I've decided to switch gears completely.  I have already been doing a few alternative therapies to help heal, and will now pursue this as my primary treatment strategy.  After a lot of research, prayer, and reflection, I have decided to go to the Hope 4 Cancer clinic in Cancun, Mexico.  I will be there for intensive treatments for three weeks, beginning this Tuesday.  Their treatment principles address healing the body on many different levels, and attempt to get to the core of what caused the cancer in the first place.  For the first time, I'm actually feeling excited about my treatment plan, and know that the treatments will help address some very deep rooted problems that have been a lifetime in the making.

Even in my darkest moments (and believe me, I have had my fair share), I have had a sense that I would survive this cancer, despite my oncologist's clear statements that "this cancer will take your life".  In this process, I am learning to let go of my preconceived notions about how things will happen, and trust in my intuition and divine guidance.  Whether or not Hope 4 Cancer will provide the treatment path that heals me is yet to be seen, but I feel very positive about this step in my healing journey, and am certain that it will play an important role.

Although it has taken a significant toll on my body, I don't have any regrets about doing chemotherapy.  I think I needed to experience both strategies that I tried in order to understand that this would not be the path that heals my body.  If I had not tried them, I would have wondered whether I had left something on the table that could have helped me heal.

If you want to learn more about Hope 4 Cancer and what I will be doing there, you can visit their website at http://hope4cancer.com or http://hope4cancercancun.com.

Many of you have asked what you can do to help.  We are so grateful for this.  We truly would not survive each day without many types of help from so many people.  In particular, we are so grateful for all the prayers and positive energy we receive.  We truly believe that this is helping my healing process and uplifting our family.  Of course there are the every day practical issues of life.  For those that are local, picking up take-out, folding laundry, and running other errands are great sources of help.  And the hardest thing to ask for, but what is truthfully the most needed, is financial assistance.  None of my treatment in Mexico will be covered by insurance, and although we are fortunate to have parents that can assist with this, it does pose a large burden to our family.  We have also discovered that we have to spend a lot more money to cover basic needs than before I got sick (i.e., everything that I used to do now has to be done by someone else... and we often have to pay others to help).  We have received a lot of generous donations in the past year, and are very grateful for what people have given and continue to give.  The "How To Help" page on this blog has more details for those seeking a way to assist us.

Thanks for reading, and for keeping us within the circle of your reality.  I hope to have positive results to report in January!

Changing gears, here are the girls coloring just before bedtime.  :)